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Seventeen-year-old Erin opened up her emails and found three individuals from her private school telling her she should just kill herself. She faced bullying and isolation as an autistic teen despite being a loving, athletic, musical and creative person.
On Jan. 29, 2014, she did take her own life in her bedroom. Her parents, REALTOR® Stacy Horst and Darren Horst, sat on the floor of Erin’s bedroom four days after the tragedy happened, still processing devastating emotions.
“There was a moment we looked at each other and said, we either do something or this might kill us,” she says. “But we have another child, so we can’t [give up].” Horst believes if Erin had somewhere to go where she could have been safe and have fun that had nothing to do with therapy, she would still be here today. The couple put their pain and suffering into creating a nonprofit for other teens and young adults with ASD1 (autism spectrum disorder), formerly called Asperger’s. They call it Erin’s Hope for Friends, which opened in 2015.
Last year at the organization’s gala, one of the dads came up to Horst crying. “You saved my child’s life.”
An Outlet With No Judgment
More than 5,000 individuals have been a part of this organization so far. It operates two facilities—one in Atlanta, where they lived when Erin died, and one in Lexington, Ky., where Erin was born. It also offers a virtual club for people all over the U.S. and Canada.
“They come to play ping pong or air hockey, or do arts and crafts,” Horst says. “We have special dances and dinners, Halloween parties, and other events through the course of the year.”
“These kids don’t have anywhere to go where they aren’t teased or isolated. They aren’t asked to go to the prom, the football game, the beach, or just insert wherever.” –Stacy Horst
One of the unexpected benefits has been the educational aspect for neurotypical adults and teens who come to volunteer. They don’t know what to expect as they spend three hours with autistic teenagers.
“They don’t understand there is a segment of that population that is high-functioning,” Horst adds. “By the time they leave, they come up to us and say they had the best time. It has helped destigmatize what a teen or young adult with autism is like.”
When Shanelle McLain discovered the “E Club” in Georgia, her son had just been released from a hospitalization program for his mental health.
“I knew that his life hung on the line, and socialization was just as much a part of his recovery as his therapy was,” McLain says.
Tori—her sweet, intelligent, selfless and witty child—loves karaoke nights. His mother asked him what the place means to him. He looked up, smiled, and declared, “A lot. Without it, I wouldn’t have any friends.” She couldn’t agree more. “I truly believe that Erin’s Hope for Friends saved my Tori’s life.”
Colleagues Support the Cause
Horst has been with Keller Williams throughout her 20-year career in real estate, working in four different offices around the country. When Erin passed away, the brokerage offered emotional support and joined the nonprofit’s fundraising efforts.
“This is a very philanthropic and very caring brokerage,” she says. “We take care of our own.”
Darrell Kincaid, the Horsts’ next-door neighbor at the time of Erin’s passing, now serves as president of the nonprofit’s board of directors.
“Our families got together quite often for social activities, celebrations and dinners. So, we had the pleasure of seeing Erin and her sister, Rachael, grow up from a young age,” Kincaid says.
He saw firsthand the mission come to life for Erin’s Hope for Friends watching as members create lasting relationships through joyful interaction.
“Most had to be talked into trying out the club. But even after one visit, they were excited about coming back,” he adds.
The World of Erin
When Erin started preschool at age 3, her teachers noticed her lack of social interaction with children. A battery of tests gave the family the disheartening diagnosis of ASD1.
But they got to work signing her up for therapies from occupational to speech to social skills groups.
Through the years, Erin found many passions including art, sports of all kinds, music, church and cooking. Even the night of her suicide, during an unprecedented snowstorm in Atlanta in 2014, she baked lasagna so the family could invite neighbors to come over for dinner.
She played the drums for years and was in the Praise Band at their church. But her biggest attraction in life was animals. Horst and her daughter started a company called Pretties for Pets.
“We would make jewelry for animals and go to craft shows. All the proceeds go to animals that were up for adoption,” she adds.
The summer before her death, she spent a week interning with their vet.
“It was the best week of my life ever,” she told her mom.
Planning More E Clubs
Horst hopes that Erin’s Hope for Friends can spread to every major U.S. city, much like Boys & Girls Clubs. Right now, they are organizing one to start in Florida, where the Horsts now live.
In Florida alone, 435,000 young people have been diagnosed on the spectrum, and statistics show that 10% of those potentially are thinking of suicide, she says.
When the nonprofit was created, it focused on children ages 12 to 18. Then, when the original members started to age out, it added young adults up to 24 years old, who have separate activities at the clubs. “Now, we’re embarking on starting an adult group. We started at 12 because that’s when the bullying starts occurring and the isolation.”
Collectively, the new and growing groups honor Erin’s spirit. “I miss her soul. She was so sweet,” Horst says.
Stacy Horst is a REALTOR® with Keller Williams Atlantic Partners in Fernandina Beach, Fla. Erin’s Hope for Friends has helped 5,000 autistic teens and young adults gain new friendships.
